Filed under: Random Thought
“I just saw the funniest thing! Mike was trying to throw a tomato on a burger and it hit the wall and slid all the way down…It was like movie style!” I was really that excited about the tomato. We had been fishing all day and I was jonesing for some boat food. My dad just stared at me and smiled as he said, ”You know, you’re like a complete 180 from Christmastime.” He said I was so much more relaxed and I just seemed like such a happy person, like the old Melissa. He went on to tell me that when my uncle made a surprise visit while I was home for Christmas he commented on my strange behavior. He asked my dad if I was OK, if there was something wrong with me. He said that I wasn’t Melis and there had to be something wrong. That kind of hurt to hear, but it was good to hear that everyone seemed to think I was doing better. I am honestly doing better. It’s not a struggle just to get though the day anymore. I don’t wait for tomorrow, I enjoy today.
So to those of you that are at that place in life where you just can’t wait to get out, quit waiting and just get out. I know it’s really not that simple, but why not? You’re miserable where you are, so why not try something else?
Filed under: It's a joke, you can laugh now!
You are in California
You Know You’re In California When…
- The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
- You were born somewhere else.
- You know how to eat an artichoke.
- The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.
- Your car has bulletproof windows.
- Left is right and right is wrong.
- Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
- Your mouse has only one ball.
- You need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot and pick one up.
- You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.
- You can’t find your other earring because your son is wearing it.
- You drive to your neighborhood block party.
- Your family tree contains ’significant others’.
- Your cat has it’s own psychiatrist.
- You don’t exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.
- You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.
- More than clothes come out of the closets.
- When ‘the Dead’ are best live.
- You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
- Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.
- More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.
- Smoking in your office is not optional.
- When you can’t schedule a meeting because you must ‘do lunch’.
- Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.
- Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.
- You’ll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.
- You consult your horoscope before planning your day.
- A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.
- When all highways into the state say: ‘no fruits’.
- All highways out of the state say: ‘Go back’.
- You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.
***I mean seriously, who wrote this? I’m guessing from the comment about the closet he’s from the south… -Melis
Filed under: Random Thought
It’s been a week! I’m still lovin’ being home. Still no job…I’m workin’ on that one. I miss my pals! You know who you are…The Trujillo crew, those Caja kids (Representin’ the BOX!), the losers out in Lambayeque (Hahaha! Just kidding, I love you guys!), and the dudes up in Piura sweatin’ their asses off!. Ooops! Forgot those cool girls down in Ica and Jorge chillin’ in Lima! I miss you guys too!
I’ve only been here for a week and I’m already moving again! From Spring Valley over to Lemon Grove. My parentals can’t make up their mind about where they want to live! Daddy O’s still looking for a job in BOISE, Ida-freakin’-Ho! There’s no way I’m moving to Idaho; I’ll go to Boston if they go there.
So St. Patty’s day was fun. I hung out with my cousins in downtown San Diego. We drank some beer and met some fun people. Especially this one chick from Virginia…She was crazy and she had this necklace with a little guy on it that had a huge d*ck and a banana! She let us cut in line with her to get into the bar where Grace and I met up with Nat and Frank (Nat’s new boyfriend). I love being back in San Diego bars where you can get a Guinness, Stella A, or a Fat Tire on tap anywhere! God Bless the Bars of America!
Filed under: What to do...What to do...
Yesterday at 2:45 I landed in San Diego. I’m finally home. Scared, jobless, pennyless, but happier than I’ve been in a long time. It’s a relief to be home with my dog and family. Now I just need to get a job! Whoo hoo! I know this might sound stupid, but I really am excited about having a normal 9-5 job for at least a little while. I need about 20,000 bucks to start up my bar, so I have to work a steady job until I have that money. We’ll see how long this takes!
Filed under: It's a joke, you can laugh now!
This is nine out of ten cops I know in Peru:
A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy.
“What the heck are you doing ?” he asks the drunk.
“I’m looking for my car, and I can’t find it.” he replies.
“So how does feeling the roof help you ?” asks the puzzled manager.
“Well,” replies the drunk earnestly, “My car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof.”
Filed under: What to do...What to do...
Do you think it would be stupid to move to Boston just because Augustana makes it sound so good in the song? I really think I need to make a huge change in my life though. I wasn’t happy where I was in the US and I wasn’t happy abroad, so now what? Maybe I’m an east coaster at heart? I do like the military surplus look…
